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Chompin' Braddy Webtail

The cover of the July 2010 issue of Gouge Monkey. Main story: Hot Dam. Chompin' Braddy Webtail's crib.

Who is he?

A man dressed as a beaver dressed as a lumberjack.

Born in the storm drains of Pelican Brief, Tennessee, he existed on street smarts and chutzpah. Dog-Dared to explore the abandoned mansion high on Grisham Hill, he met the original Chompin' Braddy Webtail, ancient and crippled by multiple face slams, and the training began.

Six years later, and an all-American hero, once thought dead, returned to the fray. Timber!

Best move?

Flood of Righteousness — The Heavens open and, whilst his opponent feasts and does an orgy, Braddy Webtail penitently builds. Once Braddy's lodge is complete, God brings down the Hurricane of Judgment, laying waste to all matter, whilst Braddy toasts 'mallows and tosses another (self-cut) log onto the fire.

Good or evil?

Good. He is good as he is an American. Plus, no beaver can be truly evil. Nor any lumberjack, for that matter.