Kittyhawk Bebylash

Kittyhawk Bebylash never wants to die.

She protects herself by travelling about in a portable, tinted-glass snowdome and only eats the meat of optimistic pigs. But her brutal swine harvests are in vain, as her heart is bitter and would taste of regret if you were to lick it.

Secretly, she has become addicted to nibbling lead paint.

Every night, twenty Norwegians massage her with magic Viking butter before she lowers herself into a bath of formaldehyde to which she has slowly accustomed herself.

She sleeps with her eyes open - all eyes - waiting for the bony tread of Death. And when she sees him coming, she'll shoot him with her popgun.